Bahraini Man’s Help Spurned By Baby

During an incident today at the Philadelphia Museum of Art, Abdulla Al Rayes, a Bahraini currently living and studying in Philadelphia, USA, was spurned away and assaulted by a baby allegedly after he tried to help the baby’s father carry the baby’s stroller up a flight of stairs, according to local reports.

“It was a very emotionally scarring experience for me. I’m a good person, I never thought something like this could ever happen, especially when we were so close to the beautiful Carl Otto Kretzschmar von Kienbusch armor exhibit,” said Abdulla Al Rayes in a statement.

On the incident, the museum’s Chief of Security, John Locke, said “We have incidents like these all the time – there’s something about art history that makes babies total a**holes.”

When asked if he would be pressing charges against the baby, Al Rayes said, “It was painful at first, but it was oddly exhilarating. The baby’s slap put me in my place and gave me a fresh new perspective on the world. I am thankful. I don’t even know what I was doing in that museum.”

The baby, who remains unnamed on the other hand, only said “Goog goo gaga ga, motherf**ker!”

 

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