BREAKING: FIFA President on World Cup 2022 in Qatar

President of the Fédération Internationale de Football Association (FIFA), Sepp Blatter stated that it is “a mistake” to hold the World Cup in Qatar during a television interview:

“Yes. Well, a mistake. A mistake,” Blatter awkwardly blundered through the interview: 

“You know one makes many mistakes in life. The technical report on Qatar clearly indicated that Qatar’s systematic abuse of migrant labor and lack of accountability for the deaths of hundreds of migrant workers related to the construction of infrastructure has led to rampant human rights violations and abuses by employers and companies.”

“Wait, no! That’s not what I meant! I meant that it was too hot in the summer to have the World Cup in Qatar. I was nervous! I meant it was too hot! Too hot!”

Reporters in the audience heard Blatter quietly mouth the word “shit” before regaining his composure to continue the televised interview.

“I will never say that they [Qatar] bought it,” added Blatter. “Even though they totally did. I mean look at all this money they gave me! It might have been a better idea for Qatar to just pay its workers, though…”

“Wait, no! I didn’t mean that! I meant they didn’t pay anyone to do anythi– Wait, no. I mean they paid their workers but they didn’t pay us– Shit.”

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