How To: Israeli-Palestinian Conflict

Welcome to our step-by-step how-to guide on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

1. Kill an Israeli or Palestinian.
2. Incite people to commit mob violence because “revenge” or something.
3. Kill more Israelis or Palestinians.
4. Use Israeli deaths as excuse to launch military offensive, courtesy of the Israeli Defense Forces.
4. Send Israeli airships to bomb Gaza to crackdown on Hamas for political motives.
4. Shoot rockets into Israel from Gaza as retaliation, courtesy of Hamas.
5. Send more Israeli airships to drop more bombs on Gaza, as retaliation for the retaliation.
6. Shoot more rockets into Israel from Gaza, as retaliation for the retaliation for the retaliation.
7. Kill many hundreds of Palestinians, kill a couple dozen Israelis.
8. Start a war whose losers are always ordinary civilians, courtesy of the Israeli government, because “they left us no choice”.
9. Wait for a United Nations ceasefire order.
10. Ignore the ceasefire order.
11. Accomplish unsustainable Israeli political agenda and objectives.
12. Abide by ceasefire order.
13. Enter into peace negotiations, courtesy of the United States.
14. Continue with illegal occupation of Palestinian land and siege on Gaza, courtesy of Israel.
14. Rinse and repeat.

Sound off in the comments and tell us what you think!

A Palestinian man sits amongst the rubble of a destroyed house after an Israeli air strike in the northern Gaza Strip – Reuters

Palestinian girls run away after an Israeli air strike on a house in the northern Gaza Strip – Reuters

A dog stands outside a damaged house after a rocket fired by Palestinian militants in Gaza landed near Ashdod, Israel- Reuters

An Iron Dome launcher firing an interceptor rocket fired on Israel from Gaza – July 8, 2014  AP

Palestinians return to homes after destruction.

Will war ever end?

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2 thoughts on “How To: Israeli-Palestinian Conflict

    • Just because someone states facts like “Hamas shoots rockets” and “Israel kills people in airstrikes” does not mean one is saying this is an equal war.

      I dont know what people’s problem is with statements about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict that dont subscribe to their personal point of view.

      Like

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